Two Truths and a Lie

On where I vanished to.

Wondering where I vanished to the last four months? Here’s a game to get us started. I’ll give you three statements. Two are true. One is a lie. Get it right and you get a gold star.

1. I switched careers and am now a diplomat.

2. I rooted up my entire family and moved us to Zambia.

3. I’ve been living in various hotels for the last month while my wife went on a cruise to the Bahamas.

You probably saw this coming, but they’re all true.

Late last summer, I finally ended a year and a half of sitting on my hands and waiting when the U.S. State Department told me I could join the Foreign Service. Since then, I haven’t had time to breathe. It’s been mountains of paperwork (if there’s one thing the federal government enjoys its having you fill out forms), training on how not to cause international incidents, more training on how to process visas, and then even more training on how to drive away fast in an emergency.

There’s been so much to do that I’ve forgotten half of everything I was supposed to remember.

But the skinny of it is that I’m now in Lusaka, Zambia. If you’re not sure where it is, it’s usually all the way at the end of the list of countries that you’re scrolling through. Well, almost. Zimbabwe is at the end end.

Some highlights:

· I had the lovely experience of telling a job I’d had for only six weeks that, just kidding, I was actually leaving to do this other job. Props to my bosses, they were very understanding. It’s well known in DC that joining the Foreign Service can take years. To the patient goes the crown.

· My training schedule was so strict (if you miss a day, even for being sick, they make you restart) that I had to stay behind while my wife went on a cruise with her family. I’m really glad she did — she coordinated getting our stuff shipped out to Africa with a toddler in tow, and she deserved a vacation.

· For the first time since 2018, I wore a suit for my job.

· We did a 12.5 hour flight with a toddler, then another 7 hour flight. I do hate some people enough that I would wish that experience on them. Our consultation prize was a day layover in Doha, which was delightful.

· Rainy season has just started, which means thousands of termites take wing to find a mate. At night you can go out and see lizards munching away at the poor bugs just trying to get it on. Not sure who to root for. Probably the lizards.

There have been bright spots along the way, what my grandmother would have called ‘tender mercies’. Some friends or ours happen have family living in Zambia. My best friend in DC has been to Zambia and could give us the lay of the land before we got here. I was able to meet my boss who was, coincidently, in DC right after I got my assignment. Our neighbor’s nephew is a dentist in Lusaka. I could go on. The little things added up to make us feel a little better when we left everything we knew for a new home.

Which brings us to the now. Zambia is a gorgeous country with nearly perfect weather and some of the friendliest people I’ve ever met. We’re delighted to be here, and we haven’t even had a chance to explore. On our list is Mosi-oa-Tonya (Victoria Falls), the Zambezi river, elephants, crocodiles — all the safari trips. There’s more here than we can do in two years. Time is short.

Which is why I’ve been MIA. If you’ve emailed or texted me in the last few months and I am yet to respond, I promise I haven’t forgotten you. It’s only now that I’m getting around to the things I’ve had to pause on for the last while — like writing this.

Where does this leave me with writing? I haven’t had as much time as I like (but to be honest, I want to write about twelve hours a day, and that’s never been possible). I’m learning to be more strategic with my time. I spend my lunch breaks quickly getting some calories and then trying to use the remaining minutes to jot a few sentences down. My job requires that I start work at 7:30 AM, so now I wake up at 5:00 Am and try to get an hour of writing before getting ready for the day. Progress has slowed, but not the desire. All this is pushing me to write better with the time I have so I can do what I really want to do — write full-time.

Ah, that unreachable dream.

Such a cliché.